Dumbledore's Secrets
by PotterSpoof2547
Summary: Dumbledore's Secrets have been safe with himself, until now.
1. Secret 1: Yeti

**Dumbledore's Secrets **

Secret 1: Yeti 

As they walked out of the Dursley's front door, Harry was so busy being happy about being rescued that he didn't notice Dumbledore sneak a wink to Vernon Dursley.

When they were alone on the deserted street, Harry's curiosity got the best of his manners and he asked the question that had nagged him since Privet Drive: "Why is your arm black Professor?" Dumbledore, obviously knowing the answer stopped, and his face glazed over as if he was having a flashback, and coincidentally, he was…..

Not too long ago, in 1652 when he was just a few years younger, Dumbledore was hiking in the Himalayas. Why? You ask. To visit Hagrid in his summer home on top of Mount Everest. But on his way up, he got stuck in a snowstorm (and I mean a BIG snowstorm, there was snow everywhere and it was so cold that even the Yeti, THE YETI, needed an extra blanket at night because it was that cold(slightly exaggerated). So Dumbledore being at the young, young age of 352 and a half wasn't the great wizard he was today. So he performed a not-so-perfect warming spell that worked well enough, but tragically...

…...…Sorry, I dozed off. Now where was I? Ahh yes! But tragically, it didn't reach his big toe on his right foot. Which resulted in an irreversible (yes, even by magic) case of frostbite, thus worth making his toe turn…………………………...

……….BLACK dun, dun, dun…….. "And so Harry, that is the story of my black toe."

But Harry said "Uhh, professor, I don't want to be rude or anything, but I asked about your arm, not your toe (That's just nasty man.) And anyway, I don't think anybody knew you had a black toe."

"Oh yeah!" chimed up Dumbledore "For your information, Hagrid knows!"

"Umm, I don't really care; I want to know about your arm, Okay? I don't know why you don't get this."

"Well Harry, just because no one understands you, doesn't make you an artist."

"Uh-I didn't say I was and you're the one who doesn't seem to understand me."

"Well someone is grouchy. Did you forget to take your nappy-nap before we left?"

"Yes Professor, I'm sorry."

Are you wondering about that wink between Dumbledore and Vernon? Well, so are we. Over the next week we will interview them both and try to find out what it meant.


	2. Secret 2: Fantastic Five

**Dumbledore's Secrets**

Secret 2: Fantastic Five

"Okay Harry, you asked for it, this is kind of complicated so listen well………..A while after my first Himalayan visit (in 1652) I was giving the giants some everlasting fire like I did last year. Oh, why did I give them another one, you ask? Well, the first stick ran out about a decade ago and they've been begging me to give them another one; anyway, I was giving them the everlasting fire (finally) and one night, on my way up, I was sleeping and my arm was put into the fire by me (subconsciously of course) and to this day I have always been able to do this…….…"

For a while Dumbledore just starred into space before Harry got annoyed with waiting and said "Professor, what have you been able to do to this day?"

"Well, Harry, I'll explain. A while after my first Himalayan visit (in 1652) I was giving the giants-"

"I know professor, you already said that (sheesh) , I want to know what you've been able to do ever since that incident."

"Oh, well, you see Harry, you should've said so in the first place." At this point Harry and Dumbledore both disapparated from Little Whinging and apparated to the village Slughorn lived in. "Well anyway……." Continued Dumbledore Did you know a horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be led?"

"What the-?"

"Stop interrupting! Now where was I? You made me lose my boat of thought."

_I'm not even going to say it._ Thought Harry.

"Well anyway, my arm fell into the fire and it (obviously) caught fire. I tried as hard as I could, but I couldn't put it out. And so, ever since then my arm has been on fire and I've been able to do this…" At this point Dumbledore's body erupted into flames like the Human Torch from the Fantastic 4 except the flames were hot pink, not orange(Don't ask). "When school lets out in the summer, I secretly help the Fantastic 4 fight crime in the…..….you know……..that uh……...that city they live."

"Professor, it doesn't look like your arm is on fire to me."

"Hmm, you know, I think you're right. How did I not notice that before?"

"Well, we all get old sometime."

"I'm not old, I'm only 706 and three fourths!"

"That's really old professor."

"Oh yeah, well I heard that 706 is the new 500!"

"That's nice professor, but don't you think you should explain something useful sometime soon?"

"Yes, yes Harry that's nice….now where was it? Ahh yes! Here we are!"

Where are they? Find out later, I can't tell you now; I have math homework to do.


	3. Secret 3: Gazmos and Gidgets

**Dumbledore's Secrets**

Secret 3: Gazmos and Gidgets

Just want to tell you that I didn't come up with the title, Katie did

"Ah, here we are, Harry, Slughorn's- I mean, a person's house, shall we take a look?"

"Wait, professor- Stop, halt, freeze, pause, don't move!"

"What- is there something on me? GETITOFF GETITOFF GETITOFF…" And while he said this he was squirming to get whatever was on him, well, off.

"No, professor, there's nothing on you, I'm still wondering why your arm is black, you haven't told me (still)."

"Oh that? That is a fantastic story and I can't tell you right now, it would ruin the suspense."

"THIS IS THE SUSPENSE DUMBLEDORE!"

"Reeeally now hmm (as if in thought) well anyway I can't tell you now we're reaching the person's house."

"Professor, why do you want to go in there, I mean wouldn't it be intrusive to the owners? And plus, all of the lights are off."

"Well Harry, uhhh, hmmm, ummm, Flaberjiget!"

"What?"

"Well it's nothing to you, but, it's just that, okay, here's the secret, I've been looking for a bigger house to move to because all of my gazmos and gidgets are taking up all the room in my house. I mean ALL of the room, I have to shovel a path just to get to the bathroom, that's not even the outside of the house, I'm talking about the inside too!"

"Well couldn't you just magically expand it or add more rooms?" "You know, Harry, you ask too many questions. And do you want to know something else?"

"No."

"Well, to bad. You should always be sincere, even if you don't mean it."

"Whatever."

"Well, in we go!"

No end note this week, we're very busy.


	4. Secret 4: The Only Reason He Ever Feared

**Dumbledore's Secrets**

Secret 4: The Only Reason He Ever Feared

So far, this is my favorite chapter, just thought I'd tell you that.

Katie's too

When Harry and Dumbledore reached the front door of Slughorn's House (yes I'm calling it that now) Harry reached out to open the door but Dumbledore stopped him and said "No Harry, look, the red occupied sign is on, that means it's occupied."

"Wait a minute, professor; I thought that was only on porta-potties in the muggle world. I've never heard of this before."

"Oh, well that proves the old saying "you learn something new every once-in-a-while" is true."

"Isn't it every day, not every once-in-a-while?"

"No, of course not, if that was true, you'd be smarter than the average bear and obviously you are not. I am though. I'm just special. Anyway, it's Voldemort's sign; it means he's in the bathroom of this very house. Dun, dun, dun…"

"Wait, are you saying that Voldemort is right here, right now? OmigawdOmigawdOmigawd I don't think I'm ready for this-"

"Harry, calm down, it could just be a Death Eater or maybe even, hmm, my Uncle Billy, naw, oh and possibly…..Alfredo(Dumbledore said this name very darkly) oh but of course it isn't him. Heh, heh, heh."

"Okay professor, are we going in or not?"

"No, not right away anyway, it's still occupied." _Ding_ "That's the signal….My toast is done." _Ermmmm, now available_ said a voice from somewhere inside the house. "Oh good, see Harry, patience is a privilege and if you use it all up, it will be taken away." They walked into the house and it was terribly messy, I mean messy, so messy in fact that even Oscar the Grouch would be afraid of this mess. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……………….." said Dumbledore "-I can't believe he left the bathroom door open, oh my goodness, I mean whoa, I don't think even I could cover up that smell!" At this point Harry started to smell a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very(okay fine, I'll stop) good smell. It smelled to him like chocolate, and coincidentally enough, he had a sudden urge for chocolate.

"Yum, I can taste it going down my throat. This has to be the best chocolate I have ever tasted." Said Harry licking his lips.

"No, Harry, you don't want to eat that!"

"Why professor?"

"Ok, Ok, I admit it; I can scent my farts to smell like whatever I want them to smell like."

"Ewwwww, is that what I was tasting?" Harry, of course was on the verge of puking.

"No- of course not silly, I never make chocolate farts! I hate chocolate! That's just my chocolate stash that I keep in my robe, and I don't want you eating it, it's my favorite! As for the fart, I haven't done it yet. You know, they help in a tight squeeze, seeing as I'm immune to their smells, They make good protective barrier around me when I'm fighting, oh, and Voldemort would have defeated me long ago if it weren't for my gas. He fears me for my power, but even more for my natural expulsions."

"Whoa, okay professor, didn't need to know that, anyway, isn't there a reason (besides the fact that this house is bigger than your other one) that we came here?"

"Oh yes, good one Harry, that will have to come next chapter."

Reread this a few times to find next chapter's secret.


	5. Secret 5: Lavender Candles

**Dumbledore's Secrets**

Secret 5: Lavender Candles

While Harry and Dumbledore were rummaging through the rubbish in what appeared to be the living room, Harry found what appeared to be a torn up armchair. Now, I don't know why, but Harry stood it upright and sat down in it. Dumbledore, upon seeing this said "Harry get off that thing, you don't know where it's been!" So Harry stood up very quickly and went over and sat down on the piano bench (which appeared to be abnormally fat) he had spotted earlier. When he sat down, he leaned back to rest his eyes, but in doing so, his elbows hit the piano keys and made the normal noise you could expect from something like that, however, the sudden noise seemed to startle the lamp he was sitting next to, so he stood up yet again to get out of the way of the spontaneous movement from the lamp he had been sitting next to just a few seconds earlier. Suddenly, the lamp popped up, and instead of a lamp there was a portly man sitting on the floor. I mean this guy was FAT man, he was like HUUUUUUGE! Goodness he was fat.

"Oh, hello Albus…heh, heh, heh."

"Hey Slughorn, see Harry, this is the real reason we came here, though I do still want a bigger house, so Slughorn-"

"No." Said Slughorn interrupting what Dumbledore was asking "I won't do it and I never will."

"Umm, Slughorn, I was just asking how you've been doing."

"Oh, well you should've said so in the first place." Slughorn replied. "You see, ever since I found out You-Know-Who has come back, I've been moving from house to house every few months because I don't want to be taking a shower one day and suddenly find out there are wizards in there with me. I mean, I would be so embarrassed I don't know what I would do…"

"Umm, Slughorn, shouldn't you be more worried about what those wizards would do to you, not your embarrassment?"

"Ahh, the famous Harry Potter." Said Slughorn "No I'm not worried about what they would do to me because all they would do would be to ask me where Dumbledore is and I know they wouldn't find him anyway…So Dumbledore." Continued Slughorn. "How has your family been?"

"Oh, it's been good except for, you know Alfredo (Dumbledore said this name darkly again) I mean he hasn't spoke to us in like forever, man. And by know I know that you know that he changed his name from Alonso to Alfredo." Dumbledore suddenly stopped and smiled as if he was content. Suddenly Harry smelled lavender

"Oh professor, couldn't you go in the bathroom to do that?"

"Uh Harry, that's not him it's my…………………………………….

……….. (I just want to raise the suspense)………………….lavender scented candle. I bought a whole carton of them wholesale (that means cheap)-"

"I know what wholesale means." Said Harry "The Dursleys do it all the time."

"Well anyway…" continued Slughorn "I've been lighting them all the time, this is my last one, it's almost as if I'm addicted to lighting them or something, to run out this fast…." Now it was Slughorn's turn to stare into space for a while.

"Okay." Said Dumbledore rolling his eyes (Like he had never done something like this before) "Anyway, well my brother Alfredo was originally on the light side working for the Order, but he switched sides. Oh, I can't believe I forgot to say this! He was seduced by the dark side- he's a Voldemort wannabe- Noooooooo! Sorry, I'm being a little melodramatic here aren't I? Heh, heh, heh."

"Umm, okay professor, didn't you want to see Slughorn about something?"

"Yes, yes, that's true. Now Sluggy, my main man in the hishouse (Dumbledore said this like, you know, cool people) I was wondering if you would come and-"

"No." said Slughorn "I won't do it and I never will." He finished.

"Okay, what if I throw in a free box of lavender candles?"

"Oh…" said Slughorn clearly in a deep debate with himself "Make it two and it's a deal. You know, that was a dirty trick."

"Well, exceptions always outnumber rules you know." Said Dumbledore

"Okay, I must ask you one other thing and I want you to answer truthfully, okay, why did the chicken cross the road?"

I know that ended abruptly but I ran out of paper to write on. See you next time!


	6. Secret 6: Of Thinking and Talking

**Dumbledore's Secrets**

Secret 6: Of Thinking and Talking

Last chapter, we left you in suspense as to what Slughorn had just agreed to do. Find out now what it was.

LOTS OF INFO.

P.S. This is our take on what happened, just remember that.

Slughorn, being happy that he had just gotten two free boxes of lavender scented candles was so busy thinking about how he would use them; he didn't notice Harry and Dumbledore leave his house. When they were outside, Harry stopped and starred at Dumbledore, and Dumbledore knowing what Harry would ask kept walking until he could stand it no more and he burst out, "Okay Harry, I'll tell you why we went to Slughorn's House, you weren't supposed to know this, but I guess you'll have to pretend this conversation never happened…" By now Harry was thinking many things, some of which we can't write in this story, anyway, some of the lighter ones were: I was thinking about his arm, not why we went to Slughorn's, I'm going to kill Voldemort, it's true, I do want to know why we went to Slughorn's, you are what you eat, I should probably avoid fruits and nuts, are my sneakers tied? Oh my gosh, I forgot to close Slughorn's front door: There were also many more, that is just a sample, but you get it. "Anyway," continued Dumbledore "We went there to persuade Slughorn to work as a teacher at Hogwarts."

"Well, professor…" said Harry "I was going to ask about your black arm, but that's a good secret. Oh, now I can hold that over Ron and Hermione…"

"Harry, why do you want to do that?"

"I don't know, I guess I just never got over what they did last year."

"Harry, you do know that was my fault right, I told them to do it, you know."

"Yeah, but- Hey! We're getting off topic here, tell me about your arm."

"Oh fine, well when we walked out of the Dursley's House I winked at your Uncle Vernon (here it comes, I can't wait!) signaling to him that I wouldn't tell anyone what had happened."

"Soooooo, what happened?" asked Harry.

"Well when I arrived there, they were unhappy and you weren't, (obviously) so I asked them to sit down after I had sat down on their couch. Well, when your Uncle sat down, he happened to sit on my, well, my arm. As we sat there talking, I tried to get him to move, and he did (finally), but it was too late……my arm had turned dun, dun, dun, dun, purple, oh wait, no, it was black, never mind, heh, heh, heh…" concluded Dumbledore.

"Whoa." Said Harry, clearly surprised at the answer "Can you repeat that last part again, I didn't quite catch it."

"Harry, Harry, Harry, as I said before, I never repeat myself. Tsk, tsk, tsk, you should know that by now. Well anyway, I thought the pain would have left by now, and it has, however, I can't feel my fingers. I think they might be dead. Hmmm…" Again Dumbledore went deep into thought (while still walking, of course.)

"Anyway…" began Harry "I think this chapter has gone on quite long enough, can't we go to the Burrow to get some sleep, I'm so tired."

"Actually, Harry, that's where we're going anyway."

Surprised aren't you- great surprise. I just love surprises, you know, birthdays are like a surprise if you think about it, and so is Christmas. Okay, too many surprises coming, I can't contain myself. See you next time! Surprise! The next chapter's already here! How cool is that man! I mean Poof! Just like magic huh?


	7. Secret 7: Darn Rocks

**Dumbledore's Secrets**

Secret 7: Darn Rocks

When Harry and Dumbledore arrived at the Burrow, it was just nearing three in the morning. Dumbledore pulled Harry aside and said "I know we've been walking for a few hours in silence, and I've had many, many chances to tell you this, anyway, since I'm a procrastinator, I've waited until the last minute to tell you this, okay, I'm going to be giving you private lessons in my office this year, seeing as Snape wasn't the best occulmency teacher, you might just find that I'll be teaching you that. Oh wait, no, you won't be learning occlumency. It looks like you're stuck with what you know about occlumency. Oh, and since I know Hermione is anxious to find out how well she did on the O.W.L.s, you should tell her that they should be coming next year. Oh, wait, that's your N.E.W.T.s, silly me………….They should be here today, then."

When Dumbledore had finally finished, both he and Harry walked up to the Burrow and knocked on the front door. A little door opened up and a set of eyes appeared and said "W-W-W-Who's there?"

"It is I" started Dumbledore "Voldemort……………………..no, I'm just joshin' ya. It's actually Dumbledore and Harry."

"What's the password?" the eyes asked.

"Wapbappaloopaandariggabamboo." Said Dumbledore.

"Wow," thought Harry "I never knew wizards knew that song too…." Suddenly, the door swooshed open and Harry was pulled in and Dumbledore followed. Harry was pushed into a chair to sit in while Dumbledore conjured up a squishy chair of his own to sit on.

"Hello Albus." Said Molly Weasley "Oh my, Harry, you look so thin, we'll need to make a nice big breakfast for you right now hon, now where's the lard bucket?" she asked to no one in particular, however a voice (from somewhere in the house again) said _It's over here ma. _"Oh, this house is so helpful." Mrs. Weasley said to Harry. She swished her wand and the entire table Harry was sitting at suddenly filled with all of his favorite foods (covered in lard, of course). As he was gulping down the food, Molly noticed Dumbledore rubbing his knee and she said "Albus, is your scar hurting again?"

"No, my scar is hurting, not my knee Molly."

"Uh, that's what I sai- oh never mind. Actually, how did you get your scar? You never really told us."

"Oh, well Molly I'd be honored to do that, as long as I get some chicken."

Mrs. Weasley, surprised at what he wanted, especially at this hour, watched Dumbledore for a minute before realizing she was starring and kind of jumped like you do when you come out of something like that. "Right away, Albus."

"Well, while we're waiting, I'll start the legacy- yes Harry?"

"Isn't a legacy a story of someone's life? Unless it took your whole life to get that scar, I don't think this could be called a legacy."

"Riiiiiiight." Said Dumbledore, who obviously hadn't been paying attention because he was busy picking his…………………………………

…………………………………………..……………………………….. ………………….…………..fingernails (for all of you who thought I'd say nose, despicable). "Well anyway," continued Dumbledore "It was a long time ago I can hardly remember it, ah yes, it was in the year 1600, and it was my 300th birthday, which is quite a milestone you know, while Aberforth, Alfonso (for he was still called that), and I were in the creek behind our very tiny home, yes, yes, it had somewhere around 90 rooms in it (riiight, small), anyway, we were in the creek and I was walking on the rocks, which were slippery for some reason, I slipped and fell over, right on my face, just like that, of course Alfonso laughed (we never really got along very well) and Aberforth rushed over to help me with the blood, but of course, he just haaaad to faint at the sight of blood. Well, he was down, and Alfonso was laughing, so I was on my own with the blood, and I healed it, but of course, I'm no Madame Pomfrey, so I was left with a hideous scar of…………….. ..….……..Bangkok, wait something's wrong there, oh yes it was a map of the London Underground, not Bangkok, silly me, that's another story." he finished almost to himself.

"That's the story?" asked Harry incredulously.

"Yep, isn't it great, it's almost like I have less weight to carry now that that's off my back. I know, I'll go weigh myself and see…" (of course we all know that when you say something like that it isn't going to ACTUALLY make you weigh less, and for those of you who didn't know, well, you do now.)

"Well Harry, why don't you go upstairs and wake up Ron and Hermione to tell them you're he-" she stopped suddenly because Harry had just burped really loud and they heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and there were Ron and Hermione.

(Editor's note: Guess what? It's raining! I just saw an old lady slip and fall in a puddle. Now, my first instinct was to laugh, but then I went back and thought "What if I was an ant and her big old wrinkly butt fell on me. Then it probably wouldn't seem quite so funny.)

No end note again. We do have lives you know.

No we don't read on! Wait, my mommy's calling me, see you next time!


	8. Secret 8: Dang Frisbees

**Dumbledore's Secrets**

Secret 8: Dang Frisbees

When Harry saw Hermione come down the stairs, he ran over and gave her a big smooch on the cheek, I mean huuuge! This smooch was so big she almost drowned. Of course, this was right on front of Ron.- Just kidding, actually, they snogged each other, there is a difference you know.------------------Then Ron's fantasy ended. "Oh, better not let Harry and Hermione know that I've been having weirdo fantasies about them." Ron said to himself. Dumbledore, who had been using legilimency on Ron (for reasons unknown to us) had seen this fantasy and brought it to the light of the world that he himself couldn't kiss.

"But why did you all-of-a-sudden decide to tell us this?" asked Hermione.

"Because I'm old and I'm so used to hiding everything that I don't feel like keeping this a secret anymore. Oh, and also, I was bored and there was a quiet spell going around, you know, where everyone is quiet."

"Actually," started Harry "we were all talking and greeting each other, it definitely wasn't quiet in here."

"Oh, well, uhh, let's just go with I'm old then. Heh, heh, heh..."

"You never told us why you can't kiss." Said Ron

"Well Ron," started Dumbledore "A few years after I got my scar, in 1600, it was, ah yes, it was 1702, and I was playing Frisbee with my dog Gerard-Alfonso-Feldman. When I threw the Frisbee I was thinking to myself: What a funnily shaped Frisbee (for it looked like an "L".)( Now obviously this points to the fact that this wasn't a frisbee, but a boomerang.) Ah, oh well, oh well, oh well, OH WELL (he was practically screaming now) ---"

"Dumbledore, stop it!" Mrs. Weasley yelled over him.

"Okay, now where was I?" Dumbledore went on as if there hadn't been any interruptions. "Ah, yes, the Frisbee came back and knocked out me and my teeth. In the last few seconds of consciousness I remember everything being purple, hmm…." Dumbledore, again, went deep into thought. "Well, I really ought to be going now." He said after a few seconds.

"But wait!" started Mrs. Weasley "Okay, BIG news everyone, Fleur Delacour, remember her? Well, she's marrying Bill next summer! Yay!"

"Mom, you've already told everyone this. Harry's the only one who doesn't know.

"Yay! Someone new every time!" she said happily.

"Anyway," said Dumbledore "I wanna know something that I think you might be able to answer, Harry.-Why doesn't the glue stick to the inside of the bottle?"

Strange ending huh? Well, we might just answer this sometime in the near future.

We wanted to give you a break after our past 3 extremely loooong episodes. See ya soon!


	9. Secret 9: Love Sets into Motion

**Dumbledore's Secrets**

Secret 9: Love sets into Motion

When last we left you, Dumbledore had asked the strangest question: Why doesn't the glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Read on to find out whether or not it's answered.

"Well Harry, can you answer it?" asked Dumbledore.

"Professor! Watch out! Hermione on the rampage!" Harry yelled in the only time he had. Indeed, Hermione was on a rampage, to answer the question, of course.

"I can tell you the answer profess-"

"Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, when will you learn to control your eagerness to learn? Tsk, tsk, you really shouldn't answer every question, you could trip on a rock." Said Dumbledore with his usual phrase mix up.

"Well annnnyway," started Hermione "as I was saying before, I can answer tha- Oh hi Ginny!" It was true, Ginny had just walked into the kitchen of the Burrow, and when he saw her, Harry felt a mighty beast rear up inside him; almost as if he had a crush on Ginny (after all these years of Ginny chasing Harry, they seem to have flip-flopped). He tried to identify the animal and he thought it was safe to assume that this animal was definitely……………………………………………………………………..

…………………………………………a mouse.

After all their hellos were said, Hermione continued "Okay, well, the reason the glue doesn't stick to the inside of the bottle is because…" Hermione took a deep breath, almost as if she was going to talk very fast riiiiiiiight now-"the-lid-of-the-bottle-creates-a-seal-holding-the-liquid-glue-in-the-air-tight-container-therefore-keeping-the-glue-from-drying-out-and-sticking-to-the-inside-of-the-bottle. Whew!" Hermione was now breathing very deeply while everyone else in the room looked dumbstruck.

"Well I'll be darned, Harry Potter." Said someone who had just walked into the room, someone who was marrying Bill Weasley next summer (Okay, by now you should know that it's Fleur) I never thought I'd see you again." She finished.

"Well, uh, um, why, why, are you here?" asked Harry knowing the answer (or did he).

"Oh Harry, I'd tell you that, but well, your brain would, heh, explode." Fleur finished feverishly.

"Wait-What?" asked Harry incredulously. "I thought you were here to get ready for your wedding next summer."

"Oh, I am-though, I'm here for another reason, and if I told you, your brain would explode. Poor, poor Billy Rockstar, he never had a chance…" she went off into thought.

"Oh Fleur, don't scare him" started Mrs. Weasley "she's working for the Order, Harry- see, your brain didn't explode now did it?"

"No, my brain feels fine Mrs. Weasley." Said Harry. "Hmm..." said Harry to himself; for he had just noticed that Fleur had a Texan accent. How strange is that?

"Okay, I really must be going now." Said Dumbledore. As he was walking out the front door, he tripped over something. It looked like a line with ancient runes on it. "Now Molly, I really must ask you to watch where you put these lines down."

"But Albus, I didn't put any lines down." Said Molly.

"Oh, well, that's okay then."

Hermione sprang up and ran over to pick the line up, hastily trying to explain that when she was getting her Ancient Runes materials together, she must have dropped the line without noticing it. They were interrupted by 3 consecutive thumps on the widows that were coincidentally made by 3 owls flying into the windows. "Oh, it looks like our All Purpose Cleaner really does work." Said Mrs. Weasley. "Quick, get the mail while they're still confused, then we won't have to pay for it." They all ran out and took the three packages the owls were carrying and brought those inside, leaving the owls locked out of the house. When they got inside, they opened the three packages which happened to be their O.WL.s results.

When they had finished with their O.W.L. related talk, Dumbledore had finally figured out what the line with the ancient runes on it had reminded him of. "Oh my gosh," he started "I just realized that the line with the ancient runes on it reminded me of an age ring. You know, where if you're not the proper age and you walk through it, you get blown back and you grow a long beard…which you can't get rid of, I might add."

Hermione had made the connection that would reveal all. "So does that mean that you into an age ring and now you can't get rid of your beard?" She asked with a smug expression on her face.

"Of course not, Hermione." Said Dumbledore "It definitely wasn't an age **_ring _**(he put heavy emphasis on the word 'ring', you know, in case you hadn't noticed.)…………..it was an age **_line_**." He finished quickly and quietly.

"Ooo, how'd it happen?" asked Ron eagerly.

"Well, remember two years ago when Hogwarts held the Triwizard Tournament?"

"Yes." They all answered.

"Well remember how you had to be seventeen to compete?"

"Yes." They answered again.

"Remember when I put that age line around the Goblet of Fire?"

"Yes……."

"Well, that's………………………definitely not how I got my beard."

"What?" They all said (it's strange how many things they said in unison.)

"Yeah, this happened a long time ago, in ah, oh geez, when was it, oh, um, it had to be, no, it was, uh, um, oh yeah! Duh! It was in 1983. That's when I got my first apartment. When I first looked through it, I decided I would put a protective spell around it, you know, to keep it protected; that was the hip-and-happenin' thing to do back then. Well, I couldn't think of a spell, so I decided to use an age line. You know, age lines are very tricky little things. You have to have a lot of concentration, because you have to think of how old you want people to have to be to cross the line. Well, when I made it, I was going to put it at 499 so only I could get in, however, I was hungry and this muggle had just walked by with a tray of food, and well, my concentration wavered for an instant, just an instant, but the damage was done, I had set the age line to 500, not 499. Of course, I didn't know that I had done this, so I walked into my apartment and was blown out a second later with a giant beard growing on me. After many, many tries of shaving it, I figured out that you can't get rid of it, you just can't."

"Professor, you do know that Madame Pomfrey can get rid of that beard you know." Said Hermione.

"Oh, uh, I knew that." Dumbledore replied in an embarrassed tone. Now Dumbledore sat down in his squishy chair (which had been following him as he had walked around the room), of course Fleur had been sitting on it and couldn't get out of his way in time, it was too late, he had sat on her and she couldn't move.

That ended abruptly, but, this is our longest chapter so far, and my hand hurts. I want some ice.


	10. Secret 10: Part 1 Cops

**Dumbledore's Secrets**

Secret 10: Part I- Cops

When the last chapter ended, we, well you know what happened.

This is going to be a 3-part secret, hence the 'Part I' in the title.

"This is an outrage!" yelled Fleur in her Texan accent. "I will not have some-some headmaster sitting on me!"

"Well Fleur," began Mrs. Weasley "In Dumbledore's defense, you really shouldn't have sat on his chair, plus it was following him around and he was talking for quite some time, you had plenty of chances to get off."

"Wait, it was following him around?" asked Fleur "No it wasn't, I would have noticed."

"Well…." Began Harry (and you know this meant he had a lot of evidence coming up) "I think the fact that you were almost crouched in the chair with your eyes closed and your ears plugged and you going 'la la la la la la la' to yourself to drown out Dumbledore's voice miiiiiiiight (it just might) have been the reason you didn't notice Dumbledore's rump coming at you or the chair moving."

"Uh," said Fleur clearly trying to come up with another reason she hadn't noticed the chair moving. "Well, uh, or-or maybe Dumbledore glued me to the chair so I couldn't move, and then he sat on me. He could be a serial sitter in disguise." She finished dramatically.

"FLEUR!" yelled Mrs. Weasley "Never say that again! You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted, and then used against you."

"But I-"

"No."

"Bu-"

"NO."

"But- oh fine."

"If you want to continue to work for the Order, I suggest you don't accuse its leader."

As Fleur walked away she thought to herself _I can think whatever I want, I am soooo quitting the Order and I smell like chocolate. Yummmm, chocolate._ She pranced up to her room thinking of chocolate.

Now Dumbledore, who again was using legilimency on someone for reasons we don't know, found out what Fleur was thinking, but his time he kept that scrap of information to himself. Instead, he blurted out "I'm allergic to cheese."

"Dumbledore, really now, enough with the randomness." Said Mrs. Weasley. "We're getting ready to leave for Diagon Alley."

"No really, I'm allergic to cheese."

"Uh huh, and this is important because……?" Asked Harry.

"Well, you see, cheese in all of its glory is a dairy product, right?" They all nodded. "Well a dairy product, cheese particularly, makes me, well, it makes me fart."

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha" (in reality those 'ha ha's' were much longer, but because of time constraints and (ow) writing cramps, we'll leave those 'ha ha's' at that length. Anyway, on with the story.) Well, after the 'ha ha's' were done, they became serious again.

"Hm, it looks like we'll have to be serious later, the ministry car is here and we need to get to Diagon Alley before midnight or all of the sales will end." Obviously Mrs. Weasley said this.

After they got back from Diagon Alley (again, the dumb time constraints, we'll just describe this real fast.) from seeing all the death and destruction and terror of the place- no, I'm only kidding, actually, some of the shops were closed, windows were boarded up, you know, the usual stuff you could expect when there is a mass murderer on the loose. Well anyway, when they arrived, they found out that for security detail they didn't have some aurors there, watching their every move, no, they had Hagrid. How great was that? After they had found all of this out, they went through Diagon Alley. The group had to split up in order to get all of their supplies, of course, since this was Mrs. Weasley's suggestion, we can also assume she wanted to split up in order to get all of the sales before, you know, midnight.

Anyway, on with the story. When Harry, Ron, and Hermione had entered Madame Malkins' (for their robes were extremely short on them) they heard a voice that they knew like the backs of their hands. Suddenly, Harry noticed he had a small scratch on the back of his hand. Funny, he hadn't noticed that before. Oh well, the voice was (nooo, it wasn't Billy Rockstar, for those of you who thought it might be) it was none other than the handsome, the talented, Draco Malfoy. Can I have a drum roll please for our next guest, Draco's mom, Narcissa! Yay! Actually, no, it isn't yay, this means trouble. Well, long story short, Narcissa and Draco ended up storming out of the robe store with Draco (for whatever reason) keeping his left arm covered up. They got their robes and met up with the other half of the party (Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, Dumbledore, oh, and I forgot to mention Arthur Weasley, he had joined up with them when they had arrived there) Anyway, they met up at Fred and George's store. They went in (these darn time constraints) Harry got some free stuff, Ginny chose a Pigmy Puff and named it Arnold, Ron tried to nick some stuff, oh, and Harry saw Draco walking down the street alone. Harry followed him, found out he wanted something fixed from Borgin & Burkes, told Hermione and Ron about it. That's basically it. Any Questions?

Well, when they got back to the Burrow (yes, they got everything on sale) they continued their conversation with Dumbledore. "So, about your cheese problem." Started Ron.

"What about it?"

"You fart when you eat it."

"Who told you that?" Asked Dumbledore. "I am so going to get him."

"No, no, Dumbledore, you told us." Said Harry.

"Oh, well, that's okay then." He said.

AND CLOSE

The reason this chapter is in 3 parts is because Katie is feeling a little llamaish this week (I don't know what that means either) so I had to write this chapter alone. That didn't answer anything so, hm, let's go with we're the writers and we felt like it.


	11. Secret 10: Part 2 Joe and the Seaweed

**Dumbledore's Secrets**

Secret 10: Part II- 

Hello again. Short but sweet. We'll rewind a little to remind you what happened (not that you need it)

"So about your cheese problem." Started Ron.

"What about it?" Asked Dumbledore.

"You fart when you eat it."

"Who told you that?" Said Dumbledore. "I am so going to get him."

"No, no, Dumbledore, you told us." Said Harry.

"Oh- well that's okay then." He said.

"Are you going to tell us more about it?" Asked Ron.

"Yes, but not right now, its bedtime." Said Mrs. Weasley.

"But mom, it's only 5:15." Said Ginny in a whiny voice.

"Its 5:15?" Asked Mrs. Weasley. "Then you're late for bed. And don't think this will happen again any time soon."

"Uh, why do we have to go to bed so early Mrs. Weasley?" Asked Harry.

"Because the cooking show with Joe Lockhart is on at 5:30 and I don't want you children watching it. Plus, its Gilderoy Lockhart's brother, so you can imagine how good he is."

"Why can't we just go in another room?"

"NO!" said Mrs. Weasley. "Are you crazy, go in another room. What do you think this place is- a castle?"

"Uh, yeah, castle would be good word to describe this place, with all the rooms and such."

"Harry, Harry, Harry, how many times do I have to tell you, we prefer the word palace, not castle."(Wait- isn't she the one who just said castle and now she's telling him off for saying it? This doesn't make sense.) And to Ron and Ginny she said "Now, its bedtime, you're lucky Harry and Hermione are here or you two would both be gianormous trouble right now. Now up, up, up."

"Molly, I don't think it's fair that they have to got to bed this early, I mean, it's not like it's a school night or anything. Oh wait- never mind, the train leaves for school tomorrow. You children should get to bed—like now." Said Arthur Weasley.

"But dad…." Ron didn't get any farther.

"No Ron, we're not driving the flying car to Hogwarts." Said Mr. Weasley.

"Uh, dad, that's not what I was going to say, and anyway, the car is somewhere in the Forbidden Forest at Hogwarts."

"Wait-" Said Dumbledore "That's your car that has been driving around my woods?"

Mr. Weasley answered "Uh, yeah, but its Ron's fault not mine." In a small voice he added "**Don't hurt me.**"

"Well, its very useful, it plows my field so that I can grow my seaweed."

"Dumbledore, Dumbledore, Dumbledore, seaweed grows underwater….." Harry obviously said more, but I don't feel like writing it.

"It does?" Said Dumbledore incredulously. "Well, at any rate, it helps me grow something. Good Bye, I really must be leaving now."

As he was walking out the door, Hermione called out "Wait- you never told us the rest of your dairy problem……" It went unheeded except for the reply from Dumbledore:

"I'll tell you on the Hogwarts Express, I'll send you a letter explaining it, it, it, it, it, it….." The word 'it' seemed to echo, except, nope, just Dumbledore, who, for whatever reason, kept repeating it. I don't know why, don't ask me.

The next morning started with a loud "Yippee!" echoing through the house from Ron.

"What Ron?" Asked Harry and Hermione together.

"I finally lost my last tooth." He said, and then he started chanting "tooth fairy, tooth fairy, tooth fairy….."

"RON!" They both yelled "School starts today; we need to get ready, worry about your tooth later." They didn't say this in exact unison, but it wouldn't really make any sense to you, the reader, if I wrote it the way it actually happened so we'll leave it like that.

When they arrived at King's Cross Station, walked through the magical barrier separating the muggle world from the wizarding community, got on the Hogwarts Express, said Good Bye to the folks, and finally met up with their friends, Ron and Hermione walked through the train doing their prefect duties( wow, are you sure that that's not a run-on.) Let's fast forward a little to get to the letter.

Just then Draco stepped on Harry's nose, breaking it, then he- whoops, not the far. Um, let's see, ooh, here's a good place:

Ron and Hermione had just returned to the compartment Harry had been sitting in while talking to Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom. "So Harry" began Hermione "did you get any mail from, you know."

"Hermione, you'll have to be more specific, I don't know who you're talking about."

"But- isn't it obvious I'm talking about Dumbledore?"

"Noooo, why would we get any mail from him?"

"Uh Harry, woo hoo- he was going to send us a letter explaining his cheese problem."

"Oh geez, Dumbledore has a cheese problem? I'll bet it's that Flying Therapoid Disease, yeah, it's been sweeping the wizarding community for a while now and there's no known cure for it." Said Luna.

"Actually Luna" began Ron "I think he's just Lactose Intolerant."

"Don't be prejudice Ron." Said Neville.

"Okay then." He replied. Then he made the coo-coo sign towards Neville, of course Neville didn't see it that would just be silly.

"Anyway" continued Luna "I'm pretty sure it's the Flying Therapoid Disease. Haven't you ever heard of it? It's where your stomach swells to the size of a balloon, then, when you eat something dairyish, you……………….

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….…….fart."

"Okay Luna-" Said Hermione, however she was interrupted by a thump on the window.

"Ow, I just hit my head on the window." Said Harry

"Oh, I thought for a second it might be an- OWL! Look there it is- pull it in! Pull it in!" Said Hermione. They pulled the owl in and saw that it had a scroll tied to its leg. Suddenly, they smelled chocolate and, of course, they had an urge for it. "Yum, this smells really good." Said Hermione.

"Yeah, that's to verify that this letter is from the real Dumbledore, not an imposter." Said Harry. "He told me once."

"What is it?" Asked no one in particular.

"It's his, heh, um, fart." Said Harry.

"Eww, yuck!" They all said.

"Ha, ha, ha, I can't believe you fell for it!" He said. "He never makes chocolate farts, he hates chocolate. It's just his chocolate stash that he keeps in his robes. They're his favorite. Duh!"

"He has a chocolate stash?" Asked Neville.

"Who told you that?" Asked Harry.

"Uh Harry, you said it, I think you might have hit your head a little harder than we thought." Said Hermione. "Oh well, let's open the letter."

AND CLOSE

I just love how they're like 'you must have hit your head harder than we thought' and then they totally forget about him and worry about some letter from Dumbledore.

Anyway, real end note. Sorry, but this part is (yet again) our longest chapter, so we need to take a break (about a week long break). It hasn't answered anything major but it will, I swear, a lot of info. in the next chapter. See ya soon! Oh, also, if you hadn't figured it out, we're not updating for a week, for 2 reasons . 1, to raise the suspense. And 2, because we actually need to write the chapter.! Bye!


	12. Secret 10: Part 3 The Letters

**Dumbledore's Secrets**

Secret 10: Part III- The Letters

As you may have guessed- for the secrets that have more than one part to them, we will rewind a little so you can remember what happened. Or you could just reread the chapter before it. (Never mind)

"Ow, I just hit my head on the window." Said Harry

"Oh, I thought for a second it might be an- OWL! Look there it is- pull it in! Pull it in!" Said Hermione. They pulled the owl in and saw that it had a scroll tied to its leg. Suddenly, they smelled chocolate and, of course, they had an urge for it. "Yum, this smells really good." Said Hermione.

"Yeah, that's to verify that this letter is from the real Dumbledore, not an imposter." Said Harry. "He told me once."

"What is it?" Asked no one in particular.

"It's his, heh, um, fart." Said Harry.

"Eww, yuck!" They all said.

"Ha, ha, ha, I can't believe you fell for it!" He said. "He never makes chocolate farts, he hates chocolate. It's just his chocolate stash that he keeps in his robes. They're his favorite. Duh!"

"He has a chocolate stash?" Asked Neville.

"Who told you that?" Asked Harry.

"Uh Harry, you said it, I think you might have hit your head a little harder than we thought." Said Hermione. "Are you okay?"

"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of."

"Oh geez, this must be really bad. Oh well, let's open the letter."

"Oh look- it has a package attached to it." Said Ron enthusiastically. "Quick, open it, open it!"

"When they opened the letter, they were dismayed to find that it wasn't from Dumbledore, as they had expected, it was from none other than, yep, you guessed it, Neville's grandmother. It read:

_**Dear Neville,**_

_**You silly boy, you have forgotten to bring your remembrall. I am sending it to you with this letter. If you forget it again, you will be about as welcome in this house as a fart in a telephone box (which means not very welcome). Do you understand? Oh, I see how it is, you aren't talking- fine, just remember that a rolling stone gathers no moss.**_

_**Love,**_

_** Gran-Gran**_

When they had finished reading the letter, they had much to say (funny how so short a letter can make such a large conversation).

"Neville, didn't you lose your remembrall in our first year?" Asked Hermione.

"Yes." He answered.

"Um, then what's in the box?" She asked.

"I don't know, let's find out------- phew!" He said after he had opened it and pulled out its contents. "Oh, it's just her chocolate-smelling ruby earring. I can't believe this; this is the third time she's done this. I'll have to send it back _paste haste_."

"Don't you mean _poste haste_?" Asked Harry.

"Why? What did I say? _Paste haste_ oh oops, I meant _poste haste_. Silly me."

"Um also," started Harry "what did she mean by 'as welcome in this home as a fart in a telephone box'? It's somewhat ironic, because Dumbledore, as you well know-wait-do you know?"

"Know what?" Asked Luna. "'Cause we've figured out that he has the Flying Therapoid Disease, so, what else does he have wrong with himself?"

"Well, it's not really a problem as mush as an issue. (isn't that the same thing?) You see, he has a thing with farting and it's ironic that your gran (he said this to Neville) should mention farting in a letter when we're waiting for a letter from someone with a farting issue. And you know what else, I don't know what else, so I just gonna wait here for the letter we are waiting for. Get it, got it, good." Harry finished then sat down as he said he would.

About 10 minutes later Harry got a sign that the letter was about to arrive. Oh, you want to know what the sign was. Well, curiosity never hurt anyone (except Billy Rockstar). Okay, well, the sign was, well, it wasn't really a sign so mush as a premonition. Okay, here it is its coming, there it is, there it goes, oop, its coming back around, here we go:

Harry got the premonition that there would be chicken pot pie at the feast tonight. Now, I don't know why, but that showed that the letter would arrive in three, two, one.

Suddenly, as if on cue, an owl flew through the open window with a scroll attached to its leg, and yes, this time it really was from Dumbledore, but will it help them?

They opened it up ('they' being Hermione) and read it. Now, we haven't actually seen the letter, however we have the gist of it, here it is, the long awaited letter, here we go, okay.

**_Dear Hermione and Ron,_**

**_Who else was with you, oh, um, it's got to be, hm, let's see, Harvey, Harold, oh, Duh! Harry. Hi Harry! Okay let's skip the small talk and get right down to business. So how were your holidays everyone? Good, great._**

After reading it (obviously that isn't the entire letter) they noticed there was a spot of blood on it. No matter, that was soon answered, but not in full.

**_Oops, looks like I'm dripping again. You see, it was just a full moon, so I had to leave civilization for a few days. Too bad seclusion doesn't work very well. Oh well, we're here to finish discussion of my dairy "issue", not my uncontrollable urge to bite people. Anyway, my "issue" started in, hm, you know, I don't remember when my "issue" started, oh well. When it did start, though, I suddenly noticed that when I ate anything dairyish, I farted. You know, I think that might be how I got my magic farts. Strange how open I'm being with you. Okay-_**

"I'm sorry Harry," started Hermione "I can't concentrate with all of this noise." Indeed, there was a loud banging coming from somewhere in the compartment- oh, heh, it was the door, someone was banging on the door.

"Uh Hermione" said Ron "the door."

"Oh yes, silly me, Alohomora!"

"Whoa, Hermione, are you okay? The door wasn't locked, someone was knocking on it." Said Ron

"I-I-I knew that."

"Ye-es" said Harry as he opened the door, but no one was there. "Oh great, another Ding-Dong-Ditch." He said sarcastically.

Then, out of nowhere a crab apple (or as they call them in Antarctica, an apple) (actually, they wouldn't really call it an apple, it would sound more like 'arf arf' or 'quack quack' or whatever penguins sound like. Though it would be extremely rare for them to even seen an apple, or as we're calling it, a crab apple. Anyway, never mind, back to the story, which is more important than my rambling) so where was I, ah, yes, okay, here we go.

The crab apple flew into the compartment and hit Neville square in the nose. "Ow." Said Neville. "Ew, I think this crab apple might be rotten. Here let me taste test…………………PLLLLLLLLLLLLL (he spat it out). Yep, it's definitely rotten alright." He said after a few moments of silence in which they all reflected on how the once proud and mighty crab apple had given its life so some prankster could throw it and destroy it perfectness. Goodness we're getting off topic here.

"Oh my" said Luna "The War rages on."

"What?" They all said.

"Long ago, a crab apple was picked and used for this purpose. Since then, a war has been going on, everybody is a target. Beware." She ended mysteriously.

"What?" They all said again.

"It was just a prankster." Said Hermione. "Nothing more. No crab apple war. No conspiracy. No nothing. It's a lie I tell you, a LIE!" She finished rather strongly.

"Wow Hermione, are you okay?" Asked Neville.

"Yes, I'm perfectly alright." She replied.

Just then another knock on the door resounded through the compartment yet again. However, unlike last time, there was someone there with another letter.

"Okay!" Yelled Harry "Gimme all of your money. NOW!"

The scared looking messenger started digging through their pockets nervously trying to get their money out.

"Its okay" said Ron "you can put your money back, somebody must have hit his mean switch. Now where was it? Oop, here it is (?)." When Ron said 'is', he flipped a switch on Harry's side and Harry became nice again.

As normal as this is, (yeah, normal) we're led to believe that something might be wrong with Harry because once the switch was flipped, he said "Happy Birthday!" To no one in particular.

"Uh, I have a letter from Professor Slughorn." Said the messenger.

"Who's Professor Slughorn?" Asked Hermione.

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" Asked Harry. "He's the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

"Um, are you going to take the letter or not?' Asked the messenger.

"Yeah sure, we'll take it." Answered Harry.

The messenger handed them the letter and then left. Once the messenger was gone, they read the letter, it said:

**_Harry P. and Neville L.,_**

_**I would be delighted if you would join me for a bit of lunch in Compartment C.**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Professor H. E. F. Slughorn**_

After everyone had read the letter and a few moments of silence, Ron spoke. "I didn't know the compartments had letters."

"Well look." Said Harry. "It says right now, but, I want to finish reading the letter."

"Oh, you're not really missing anything Harry; it actually doesn't really talk about his dairy "issue" any more. It gets off topic. Here, you can have it, bring it with you, if you get time, I suggest you read it, it's pretty interesting." Said Hermione.

"Oh fine, we'll go to this 'lunch' as he's calling it." Said Harry.

Really long, but lots of info. like I said. Also, a lot of foreshadowing, some of it more obvious than others. Hopefully this time we'll get some reviews or we'll have to discontinue the story... See ya next time!


	13. Random Secret 1: Rivalry

**Dumbledore's Secrets**

Random Secret 1: Rivalry

Finally, a new secret. Those past 3 parts didn't really explain the secret, or so I thought. Anyway, we'll probably revisit it sometime in the future.

Katie says that I should make this chapter shorter; she seems to think you guys don't like long chapters. So, this chapter will be shorter.

Also, as you may have noticed, the title is not just a secret, it is a random secret. This means that whenever we think we should take a break from Dumbledore's Secrets, the chapter will host a secret that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with Dumbledore, or the story for that matter. Enjoy!

"Knock, knock." Said Harry as he opened the door to Slughorn's (or as we now should call it, Professor Slughorn's) compartment.

Inside was quite a variety of Hogwarts students. I don't feel like writing down who they were at the moment, so you'll have to wait a while and find out then. Anyway, when he opened the door (with Neville following him) he saw, you know, I don't know who he saw. Well, I told you you would have to wait a while to find out who was in there. Stop pestering me, the time will come, eventually (I hope). Okay, on with the story:

Harry walked into the compartment and saw who he would be dining with. He liked what he saw, for the most part, except, mingled in with the crowd of children was someone he hated, despised, detested, actually, he didn't really hate, or despise this person, this person was just kinda in Harry's life, nothing major, or important about him (yet).

This person's name was (nope, not Billy Rockstar) it was Blaise Zabini. Now, Blaise Zabini was a Slytherin and, as you may have guessed, Harry was a Gryfindor (well that was pointless). Okay, well, Slytherins and Gryfindors hated each other for a very serious reason. You want to know what that reason was. Well, let's see if Harry or Neville can answer it shall we?

"Well," began Neville "since you asked, Harry, I'll tell you. Slytherins and Gryfindors hate each other because Gryfin-"

"Um, Neville" said Harry "yeah, didn't ask you anything. –Well, since you're doing such a great job explaining this, though, I don't know why, I'll allow you to finish explaining it."

"Aww, thanks Harry." Said Neville. "Well, Slytherins and Gryfindors hate each other because…………………………….. (Sorry, but I just need to say this: Sometimes the road less traveled, is less traveled for a reason. Now, let that be a lesson to you all)………………..Gryfindor starts with 'G' and Slytherin starts with 'S'."

"Uh huh….." Said Harry, dumbstruck.

"Sure there are other reasons, but don't you understand?" Asked Neville. "'G' and 'S' totally don't mesh. I mean, think about it, 'G', 'S', no way man, not happening." Neville suddenly stopped, for he had just noticed that everyone in the room was starring at him strangely. Then, out of nowhere (well, actually, it wasn't really nowhere, it was someone's mouth) someone said:

"It's true, it's all true." Blaise Zabini stepped forward. He said:

"Who said that?"

Billy Rockstar, the elusive Billy Rockstar……….him, of all people stepped forward from the crowd and said "I said it." He smiled then vanished.

Strange ending huh? You finally see Billy Rockstar and then he vanishes, the elusive little rascal. Quite the cliffhanger. See ya next time! OK, time to get down to reviewing, or we will have to discontinue the story.


	14. Secret 11: The Snail Club

**Dumbledore's Secrets**

Secret 11: The Snail Club

Did you like the random secret? There are more of those coming soon.

"Who was that boy?" Asked Slughorn.

"That was Billy Rockstar." Said Harry in an awed voice.

"Well tell this 'Billy' as he's called, that he should come back here and clean up his mess." Said Slughorn.

"Uh, I don't think he made a mess." Said Neville.

"Yeah he did, look at all this mud on the floor." Said Slughorn.

"Slughorn-er-_Professor _Slughorn, that's not mud it's-Chocolate cake." Said Harry after tasting it. "Look at the frosting and the gooey inside. Mmmm, cake….." He went off into thought (obviously of cake).

"Hm, chocolate cake. Where have I heard that before? Oh yes, I got one off of the Lunch Trolley here on the train." (He said this to himself.) To the group he said "Well, it's a good thing you found that cake or I'd be forced... to………………………………………………………………………...

………………………. (Suspenseful isn't it?)………………………………...

…………………………………………………………..buy another one. (Dun, dun, dun.) Because as you all know, well, will know, I either get what I want or I change my mind. And on a related note, the reason you've all been invited here, are you ready? Okay, here it comes, the reason you've all been invited here is………………………the Snail Club! Yay!"

"Huh?" They all said.

"Well, this club is a club I devised myself, it's comprised of the most talented witches and wizards in the school." Said Slughorn.

"This is all there is?" Asked Ginny.

"Well, no, but I couldn't fit anymore kids in here, so I've decided only to allow you guys. Congratulations on passing the first test."

"Okay," said Blaise "and it's called the Snail club because…."

He let Slughorn finish his sentence for him. "Well duh! It's named after me! Woo hoo! Isn't this great?" He asked just about everyone.

"But" started Cormac McLaggen, one of the kids in the compartment "your name is-er-" He looked at his invitation "Professor H. E. F. Slughorn."

"So?" Asked Slughorn.

"Um, your name is Slughorn, not Snailhorn." Cormac said.

"You know, Maybe I should change the name to the Slug Club, yeah, that's it. The Slug Club, mmm _perfecto._" He said this last word with a hint of Italian in it. "But, alas, my dear Cormac, the only way I could do that was if I-" He jumped at Cormac.

"Professor, step away from the boy and no one gets the Bat Boogey Hex put on him." Said Ginny authoritatively.

"I wasn't going to do anything to him I was just going to-ah never mind." Slughorn said. "Really, I'm so embarrassed. I can't believe you guys just let me rant like that. Oh well, okay, you can go now. You'll be sent invitations whenever I'm having a meeting or a……..party. Good Bye."

They all got up and headed for the door. Now, Harry who hadn't been listening to any of this was aroused from his trance-like state he had been in while reading the letter from Dumbledore. Though, he only had enough time to read about a paragraph from it, our sources say it went something like this:

**_Okay, I'm going to continue to explain this issue with you anyway. Well, when the problem ensued I-ow, my contact just fell out, good thing I wear these glasses to keep the contacts in. You know, I only use the glasses because I think they make me look smarter, or as young people call it, wiser. Yeah, my glasses don't do anything, except make me look cool. It's my contacts that do all the work. Who knew a muggle device would work so well. Anyhow,_**

That's as far as he got. For then Neville told him the meeting was over and he could go now.

Well, while nothing is happening, I think this would be the perfect time to do this: yadah yadah yadah yadah yadah ya. And this: Back at the Burrow, on this lovely morning, Fleur woke up to the sound of thunder. Nothing strange about that right? Well, when she tried to sit up, she saw her left arm, and her left leg, and her right leg, and her-oh my, her right arm was...

BLACK. That's right; it was BLACK (Why is BLACK written in all caps.?). "Hm," she said to herself "this isn't good--------------my make-up came off my arm again. Now everyone can see me for what I am-a girl with a BLACK arm-NOOOOOOO! Oh wait, I could just put more make-up on. That's a good idea, I'll do that." She got up out of bed and did just that, and they all lived happily ever after. I just love happy endings. Well happy times don't last forever; let's bump back over to the Hogwarts Express.

"Uh Neville" said Harry "I just remembered something, I saw Draco Malfoy-you know him right?"

"Yeah." Said Neville with a shiver. "Jeez it's cold in here."

"Uh yeah, well I need to get in his compartment. If I put on my invisibility cloak and follow Blaise Zabini into the compartment, I can hear what they're saying. I need you to cover for me in the other compartment okay? Oh, and be a dear and bring my luggage up to the castle."

"Uh Harry, The house elves do that, I don't have to."

"Oh, well don't tell Hermione that, she'll have quite a tantrum." Said Harry.

"Oh, she already knows, she read it in Hogwarts, A History." Said Neville proudly (why proudly?). "Okay, well, I guess this is good bye then. I always hate good byes; I wish we never had to say them." Said Neville.

"Well, we could just turn our backs on each other and walk away." Said Harry.

"Hm, that's a good idea." Said Neville.

And with that they turned their backs on each other and walked in opposite directions. Well, they couldn't really do that seeing as both of their destinations were in the same direction. They settled for not looking at each other.

Okay, we've come to the painful decision to discontinue this fanfic. Unless of course we get more reviews. We'll give you a few weeks before the story is ended for good...


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